Social anxiety is…. kinda… not an illness per say, but a serious ball and chain when you have goals to reach.

You have to figure out if your anxiousness is an anxiety disorder, or a case of an introvert not stretching their wings.
Also, take a look at Asperger syndrome

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome

It is very possible that you are perfectly "fine" but have been by yourself so much that you have not developed the needed skills. Due to your lack of skills, you stay by yourself.. and your skills continue to wither.

What you might benefit from is instruction on conversation.
Yes- it is perfectly possible for you to talk about absolutely NOTHING for hours on end.

It may seem impossible, but some folks have it down to an art.

There are a ton of tricks you can use to eat up time while saying absolutely nothing of consequence.

http://conversationaid.com/ ( and other like resources)

Now- do this enough, and you will become bored out of your skull.
People will prattle on about the inane crap you could EVERY think of.

I was trapped in a 45 minute conversation about manicures and designer handbags. I was ready to submit to a lobotomy with a spoon, just to have it end. Learning to talk about nothing may not bring you happiness- but it will give philosophy a rest.

Last time I had a "reality is perception" conversation with someone, they got down right MEAN and angry.

Duration : 0:6:30

Duration : 0:5:10

Jennie was tall, slim, good-looking, had lovely, long hair and was articulate and charming. So I just could not understand it when she withdrew from a beauty pageant being organised by our club. It was a contest I thought she would win hands down.

“Because I may not win,” she said when I asked her why, she was withdrawing. “I just couldn’t face that failure, that rejection.”

I was taken aback. Had she not heard the proverb about failure being the stepping stone to success? And why had she used the word rejection?

“Failure means rejection. For instance, if a participant isn’t crowned beauty queen, it means that the judges have rejected that person,” she explained. “And rejection is far too painful to tolerate!

Yes, rejection is painful and it does deal an often unbearable blow to our self-esteem. We remember each small rejection for years – often all through our lives. But, as it did in Jennie’s case, fear of rejection often prevents us from taking chances and this could well prevent us from achieving our full potential.

But both failure and rejection need not traumatise us, if we know how to deal with them. They can be, if handled correctly, blessings in disguise and can lead us to successes we could have never achieved otherwise.

For this to happen, we have to learn to cope with failure and rejection. This requires some introspection and will-power, but it is really something all of us can do.

Failure and rejection

Jennie had equated failure with rejection. But rejection is actually something personal while failure is not. Rejection is painful because we take it personally, but failure need not be painful if we don’t take it personally.

The embarrassment factor

Most of us can actually face failure and even rejection quite well – as long as other people do not come to know about it! If we are reamed out by our boss in private, we may not mind too much. But if we were scolded before even one co-worker, there is no way we can console ourselves. This is because wondering what other people will say or think about the incident, facing their teasing us or even listening to them commiserating with us is humiliating and very, very painful.

But can’t we deal with embarrassment? Yes, we can! Some people deal with it very easily by talking about the incident themselves and expressing their pain and anger to friends.

The healthy way of dealing with embarrassment is to laugh it away. If you make a fool of yourself in a public place, tell the story to people in a humorous way and laugh with them at yourself. Not only will you get over your embarrassment, you will also spread a lot of goodwill around.

Also, tell yourself that the embarrassment will remain only in your memory – not in the memories of other people. They do not really have the time to think or talk all that much about you!

Think before you act

Extreme reaction to failure and rejection can be read frequently in the newspapers when people commit suicide. Would any of these people have reacted as violently if they had waited a little before acting? No, the majority of them would not have. Wiser counsels would have prevailed. These people would have realised that they were not the only ones caught in such situations. They should have cooled down, thought the matter over, taken the advice of people they trusted. Then, they would have reacted very differently and would have tackled the situation with more maturity and a cool mind.

The lesson to be learnt then is to take time to react. You may find out that you were completely wrong in the conclusions you jumped to.

The real reason behind the rejection

Whenever you feel that a friend has rejected you, introspect about the “rejection” and you might come to some surprising conclusions. These actually tell you that you have been rejected not because you are not good enough, but because you are too good! Or, it may be something quite unconnected with you.

Pain and the closeness of the relationship

When Amy became involved in her new and exciting job, she didn’t have any time for her friend Fiona. Thus Fiona felt rejected and hurt. But after a few months, Amy came on one of her now-rare visits. She began to pour out details of what she had been doing at work – the new friends she had made, the new shows she had seen, the places she had visited, etc.

Fiona realised that Amy hadn’t changed, she had just moved on with her life while she herself had just stayed put. After they had both graduated, Amy had joined a Travel and Tourism course and then got a job after she had finished it. But Fiona had been content to just sit at home. So, Amy had not rejected her at all. She had just moved ahead and Fiona had been left behind!

Fiona’s pain had been acute because of the closeness of her relationship with Amy. Yes, the closer the relationship, the greater the pain rejection brings.

Give yourself a treat

All of us need to feel comforted after a rejection, something which is basically a loss. Since as adults, we may not have anyone to comfort us, we can try and comfort ourselves and we can do it by giving ourselves a treat. Is there a necklace you have been wanting to buy yourself, but have not bought because both your birthday and Christmas are still months away and it seems a waste of money? Well, if you are disappointed because you didn’t get the promotion you expected, go and buy it and wear it right away and go to visit a friend! Or go to the beauty parlour or to a movie. Take the afternoon off and relax and read a book.

The calorie way may not be the best way to give ourselves a treat, but it works! If you are feeling lost and rejected, forget your diet. Make yourself a plateful of corns and gobble them down with a cup of hot tea. Or go out and have a triple sundae at the ice-cream parlour down the road.

If you do any of these things, you’ll feel better. And don’t feel guilty about pampering yourself. You’re making yourself feel good. That’s a part of the healing process because the rejection you’ve just faced, made you feel bad.

Gain from the pain

Failure and rejection are harsh teachers, but the lessons you learn from them can be invaluable. We should all remember that we grow oly when we face new situations with courage. Rejection helps us look inwards and we gain insight about ourselves and then we mature as individuals.

Trust your instincts

Often our instincts tell us to do one thing, but fear tells us to do another. Her gut feeling told Marie to take up a new job that she was offered. It was a challenging job at a fat salary, but it was one that came with no guarantees. But fear and lack of self-confidence told her to stay with her boring, low-paying but “permanent” job. She took ages to make the choice, but ultimately fear won and she stayed put.

Learning to be bold, to take chances and to trust our instincts is difficult, but it is something we should learn to do.

Look back to see the whole picture

Life is complex and complicated and, living it day by day, we often don’t see the big picture. So take the time to look back and size up your life. You will often find that it is the rejections you faced that helped you to grow. You will also be able to laugh at some of the rejections that caused you immense pain at that time, but which now appear funny.

Yes, there were some failures and rejections that didn’t lead to better things – but many did!

Major rejections

When they happen, major rejections can just about finish you off. Smart, perky Maureen was devastated when Mike told her that he wanted to end their marriage. His conservative parents couldn’t take their daughter-in-law’s modern ways any longer. So he had decided to “sacrifice” his marriage for their sake.

Both her husband and her in-laws’ were totally wrong about her – it was only in her dress and talk that she was modern. As far as her basic values went, she was as traditional as they were. But she finally had to accept that her marriage was over and to move on with her life.

“By the time the 9th boy came and saw me and rejected me, I was at the end of my tether,” says Stephanie. “Each rejection was a body blow and the cumulative effect of 9 body blows was to make me feel totally worthless.”

Major rejections can be devastating and can change your life. They can take years to get over – but get over them you can. And here too introspection and trying to see the “whole picture can help.

You are not alone

Finally, you should realise that you are not alone in having to face rejection and failure. Everyone faces them. A. J. Cronin’s classic novel, The Stars Look Down, was rejected a couple of dozen times by publishers before it was accepted. Edison tried hundreds of times before he finally made a light bulb that worked.

So, don’t be afraid of failure and rejection. Take chances in life because it is this that makes you learn and grow as a person. Yes, if you take chances, you will sometimes face failure and you will feel rejected.

But if you face failure and rejection boldly and learn from them, you will enrich your life.

Michael Douglas
http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/how-to-face-failure-rejection-125125.html

Duration : 0:0:31

Where do you stand?

The earth is warming and polar bears will be extinct in less than thirty years.
Agree or disagree.

Gay people should have the right to marry, just like heterosexual people do.
Agree or disagree.

Illegal aliens have a right to be in the Unites States and partake of our benefits and services.
Agree or disagree.

The shootings at Virginia Tech shows that gun control is necessary, regardless of the Constitution.
Agree or disagree.

Our military should be pulled out of Iraq.
Agree or disagree.

Our educational system needs revamping.
Agree or disagree.

The President of the United States is wrong.
Agree or disagree.

Rosie O’Donnell is wrong.
Agree or disagree.

There was a time when thoughtful people engaged in debate over issues of importance and even frivolous ones. We respected others’ opinions even when we did not agree with them. A good discussion was invigorating, not demeaning. And name calling was out of bounds.

The times have changed. Listen to talk radio or the television news stations and you will hear opponents called vile names and their characters attacked as frequently as their views are. This is considered entertainment by some. There’s even a name for the more extreme talk show hosts- “shock jocks”- and, as we now know, at least one company contracted to have their host use “irreverent and controversial” speech as part of his services.

My concern, and I think many of yours, as well, is that this has become more the norm and less shocking. It has permeated how adults conduct themselves and civility has been lost in most areas of life.

Some complain that our children have lost manners and respect. I submit that we, as a population, young and old, have lost what was once taken for granted in our behavior with one another- kindness and the civility that makes for a gentle way of living.

But one person can make a difference. Here’s a short story of how one little boy changed his classmates, and so the world:

When he became old enough to understand and strong enough to accomplish it, I asked my son to begin holding the door for the person behind him and open it for those coming toward him. At first, he was pleased to get the “Thank you, what a gentleman.” But he soon began to see that others didn’t hold the door or went through the one he was holding without even a recognition that he was there.

He became dismayed, but I comforted him by telling him they probably didn’t know how to respond since it was so long ago that this had been done. With my encouragement, he continued to do this and to say “Thank you” when someone did something nice for him. Lo and behold, one day he came back from school and told me the children were holding doors for each other and saying “Thank you.”

A little thing, you say? I say it changed the world. His corner of the world, but the world nevertheless.

Now what about your world? Can you make it kinder, gentler, more civil simply by changing your actions toward others? I think you can. I think you can bring all this into a world that has become mean, rude and frightening. Just by changing your words, your attitude, your intentions.

This is what I think will move us toward that better way of living:

Accept that other may have an opinion that differs from yours and that it doesn’t make them evil, stupid, wiser or better. It’s probably that their experiences have influenced their thinking, just as your experiences have influenced your thoughts.

You can disagree without attacking the other person’s integrity.

Be careful of how much news and talk radio you partake of. It dulls the senses, makes us think cruelty is “normal” and desensitizes us to things which should always outrage us. It also makes devils out of those who disagree with us.

Be careful of “political correctness”. I think it has done more to promote prejudice and dullness of thought than anything else in the many years past. It is used to block critical thought and discussion because no one wants to be called a “bigot.”
Keep close to your heart the way you wish the world to be. That is what you will express.

Do unto others what you would have them do to you. It may not be that person who reacts in kind, but the next one may be the one.

And being a commuter, this can make all the difference in how the commute affects you and your life. Never be too hurried to do a kindness or be polite. It will lessen your stress, increase your healthiness and leave a bright mark on your world.

If you don’t believe me, just try it for a week and see how good you feel.

Be well,

Dr. M.

Dr. M. Mastria
http://www.articlesbase.com/advice-articles/where-do-you-stand-147146.html

A general dictionary defines recession in many ways like, “A period of an economic contraction, an extended decline in business activity, a general global slump that will last several months or years,” and so on. Recession is a time when economic disasters start, stock markets go haywire, mighty organizations drop to their knees, jobs get cut worldwide, best practices become worst practices, and so on. And, not to be left behind, the media and management gurus also go high pitched with their own theories of why things failed, whose heads should roll, who should be lynched, statistical gymnastics, witch hunts, etc. During such times you may ask, why on earth do the so called business best practices that gave abundance and happiness till now suddenly became worst practices? For this people may say it is because the universe is a random, chaotic dance of meaningless happenings. This may seem true, because we see several personal and singular disasters that just don’t make sense. But, on an overall scale, underneath all the chaotic occurrences there are hidden reasons and purpose to all things that happen around. Coming back to the main topic, though economists, business leaders and rationalists often believe the creation (and elimination) of recession, meltdowns and global business downturns are completely under man’s control, it is not entirely true. There is actually a higher supernatural power in charge, and it is necessary to understand the hidden spiritual reason why mankind goes through phases of abundance and famine. Though rationalists and scientists may chew your head off for attempting such a non scientific explanation, it is also not possible to dismiss it entirely. Modern men fear turning towards religion and spirituality for answers because it attracts ridicule. Refusing to believe in the supernatural does not make it a lie. But if one is willing to set rational logic aside for the moment and look at any option that will give some answers, then you will get some explanations.

Science and rationalism may somehow explain how disasters happen in the universe, but it cannot explain why they happen. And that “why” reason is well documented in most religious books, but not easily available inside most management or economic books. Almost all religious books from centuries have explained why mankind goes through troubling times and disasters, but perhaps the best explanation of how and why recession occurs is given in the Jain mythology. According to Jainism the world goes through a relentless cycle of positive and negative phases called Sushama and Dushama, (and their combinations), which can be used to understand a recession.

A perfectly good phase is called Sushama Sushama (extreme happiness). This is the phase of a feel good factor when businessmen believe they are invincible, organizations make enormous profits, customers are in plenty demanding better and better services, willing to pay premium for goods and services, etc. People easily talk about fashionable things like the sky being the limit, firing on all cylinders, nerves of steel, etc., and keep doing things at a reckless pace. Businesses start believing they are capable of everything and start mergers, hostile takeovers, diversification, etc. Frequent success in one field also gives them a false confidence to try their hand in areas they are not experienced with. Businessmen and the public start believing that if one pours enough money, then anyone can become successful in any business. So individuals and organizations start developing many tentacles in the hope to give end to end service, or have a stake in every stage of the value chain, etc. For example, successful steel companies may start software industries, while software industries may try their hand in television sets, oil manufacturers start peddling agricultural products, etc., in the name of diversification. The mantra is growth, growth and growth.

Slowly a small tilt occurs and it enters into a phase called Sushama Dushama (happiness with some unhappiness). This starts because when things go higher and higher, common sense and moderation takes a backseat, and greed takes over causing the bubble to expand beyond what it should. This is a phase when businesses slowly start feeling the pinch with revenues going down, and entering into a phase of slowness.

Soon it enters into a phase of Dushama Dushama (extreme unhappiness) when the bubble finally bursts and everything starts going bad, a period which we call recession or depression. This is a phase where everything that was good earlier will seem now bad. The very factors that were bringing successes earlier will now bring failures. Best practices will now seem like worst practices. Suddenly every safe investment and practices become risky. The very foundations of every business thought and practice that worked so well earlier now gets ridiculed, questioned and insulted. All the business heroism will suddenly vaporize and people enter into a state of panic leading to abrupt cost cutting by putting sudden brakes on everything. The mantra now is freeze, freeze and freeze. This, in turn, will lead to a situation like a car pileup on a on a highway due to an accident. Mighty businesses fall down like nine pins and billionaires get wiped out for inexplicable reasons. The trigger for this phase often starts in rather mysterious and unpredictable ways like, for example, creating a 9/11, a dot-com burst, a bird flu, or a sub prime crisis that no one could have imagined or prevented.

Slowly, after some agonizing months or years, it enters a phase called Dushama Sushama (unhappiness with some happiness) where rays of hope start appearing again and things get better. Eventually things improve to good old days of Sushama Sushama, but only for a short period of time. And the cycle starts again as it is an eternal never-ending process, a law of nature that every human should accept. In short, these phases keep humans from becoming too confident and arrogant of their capabilities. There is no escaping from this mighty circle. It is nature’s way of moderating things, letting the steam out or throwing a spanner in the works when it is necessary to do so. In fact, if you observe closely such feast and famine cycles are already visible all around us. For example, flowering trees goes into full bloom and then slowly loses all its leaves and flowers, only to start all over again. And no amount of watering or fertilizers will ensure the flowers remain intact all the year round. Similarly, humans have to learn to endure periodic positive and negative phases, no matter how hard they try to avoid the negative phase.

Finally we can conclude this article with a couple of quotes that can teach us how to handle a recessions and meltdowns.

“If you are going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill

“When humans are too happy, even the gods are jealous.” – Old jungle saying

Thejendra Sreenivas
http://www.articlesbase.com/religion-articles/recession-a-divine-creation-698448.html

Whats made america like the christian capital of the world?

well it might have something to do with the puritans. the religious freaks that fled europe & settled in america.
also the u.s. has very little real culture or history,religion was a good cloak to hide behind while they decimated the native "heathen" population. even today they will say "god gave them this land". not we slaughtered the native population in the name of our god. it may be a case of admit what you’ve done or, rave on like a lunatic so you never have to stop & think about what you do in the name of your "god"

P.S. you i- i tried to give you a thumbs up (great answer) but i hit the wrong button sorry!